Independence
Alright, you guys. I am going to get REAL with you guys on this post.
I was sitting down today, my day off, and looking around me thinking, "man, as a 26-year-old woman, I am seeing people much younger than me living such independent lives compared to me." It hit me, we are all on different life paths, with different problems, and different situations. I personally have not really "experienced" life on my own. I have lived with family members all my life and would LOVE to be on my own. I have worked, done some college, traveled, and a few other things while I am at home or with family. I have done things to try to improve my personal situation, but I have my reasons, and I want to share my reasons for living at home up to this point.
I was diagnosed very young, about 8 years old, maybe nine, with Aspergers. Although I am considered high functioning, I have my had my fair share of difficulties associated with it. When I tell people that I am an Aspie, I usually get, "you seem so normal." (HAH!!) "you must be really smart." (HAH!!), or "We're all a little autistic" (that one bothers me the most.) or "You're just fine, there is no way, are you sure you are?!"
The reason why I rarely share my diagnosis is that it seems like being diagnosed with a mental issue is the "cool" thing to do. It's not fun. I grew up, and sometimes still think, man I wish I did not have to deal with my issues today. But I can't ever get rid of my issues; they are always going to be there. My depression, my anxiety, my OCD, my learning disabilities, my awkward social interactions, my breakdowns will always be there.
Being diagnosed so early has benefited me, though in some ways. Doctors were not sure how far I would be able to go in life, and that is ok. I have had extensive therapy all my life to get to where I am now. It is still quite a struggle every single day to somewhat seem like a functioning human adult at work, with people especially, and life. I feel like I have surpassed my expectations of where I thought I would be in my life.
I might not be living an independent life like 90% of the world, but I am trying. I have had to seek independence in my own way not normal to most people. I may not be in what I thought my dream career would be, but I hope to be on my way.
In my current profession, as a dog groomer, it is truly the hardest thing for me. Why? I spend MOST of my time talking to people, and less time with the dogs. Truly. I went into this job thinking that I would spend most of my time with dogs, and less with customers. Quite the opposite, actually! And customers are not always nice. I say I am surprised because I purposely went into this job knowing I did not have the people skills normal people have and knew I could deal with dogs on a better level than people. How I wish I knew! I, in fact, deal with more people on a daily basis, than dogs. Because of that, my anxiety goes up, my stress level goes up, and I just cannot function. I have had to not do as many dogs because of it. I come home so mentally exhausted, to the point of not being able to do anything.
My hope for my future is that I can find a job, or even a career, where they can train me on the job, and not deal with as many customers. I would love to hear from other Aspies as to how they can be in the dog grooming business! Another hope is to be independent within a year.
This is THE hardest thing to write, so please be nice!
xoxo,
Hannah's Blog
I was sitting down today, my day off, and looking around me thinking, "man, as a 26-year-old woman, I am seeing people much younger than me living such independent lives compared to me." It hit me, we are all on different life paths, with different problems, and different situations. I personally have not really "experienced" life on my own. I have lived with family members all my life and would LOVE to be on my own. I have worked, done some college, traveled, and a few other things while I am at home or with family. I have done things to try to improve my personal situation, but I have my reasons, and I want to share my reasons for living at home up to this point.
I was diagnosed very young, about 8 years old, maybe nine, with Aspergers. Although I am considered high functioning, I have my had my fair share of difficulties associated with it. When I tell people that I am an Aspie, I usually get, "you seem so normal." (HAH!!) "you must be really smart." (HAH!!), or "We're all a little autistic" (that one bothers me the most.) or "You're just fine, there is no way, are you sure you are?!"
The reason why I rarely share my diagnosis is that it seems like being diagnosed with a mental issue is the "cool" thing to do. It's not fun. I grew up, and sometimes still think, man I wish I did not have to deal with my issues today. But I can't ever get rid of my issues; they are always going to be there. My depression, my anxiety, my OCD, my learning disabilities, my awkward social interactions, my breakdowns will always be there.
Being diagnosed so early has benefited me, though in some ways. Doctors were not sure how far I would be able to go in life, and that is ok. I have had extensive therapy all my life to get to where I am now. It is still quite a struggle every single day to somewhat seem like a functioning human adult at work, with people especially, and life. I feel like I have surpassed my expectations of where I thought I would be in my life.
I might not be living an independent life like 90% of the world, but I am trying. I have had to seek independence in my own way not normal to most people. I may not be in what I thought my dream career would be, but I hope to be on my way.
In my current profession, as a dog groomer, it is truly the hardest thing for me. Why? I spend MOST of my time talking to people, and less time with the dogs. Truly. I went into this job thinking that I would spend most of my time with dogs, and less with customers. Quite the opposite, actually! And customers are not always nice. I say I am surprised because I purposely went into this job knowing I did not have the people skills normal people have and knew I could deal with dogs on a better level than people. How I wish I knew! I, in fact, deal with more people on a daily basis, than dogs. Because of that, my anxiety goes up, my stress level goes up, and I just cannot function. I have had to not do as many dogs because of it. I come home so mentally exhausted, to the point of not being able to do anything.
My hope for my future is that I can find a job, or even a career, where they can train me on the job, and not deal with as many customers. I would love to hear from other Aspies as to how they can be in the dog grooming business! Another hope is to be independent within a year.
This is THE hardest thing to write, so please be nice!
xoxo,
Hannah's Blog
You're amazing! Wow!
ReplyDeleteI wish every one could know the real you, the fabulous you.
d'aww thanks. ;)
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